Mindful, or Mind-Full?

MINDFUL, OR MIND-FULL?

My Trainer, Will, said to me the other day, ‘You hold a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders, don’t you?  Do you have a problem relaxing?’

Do I have a problem relaxing?  Doesn’t everyone?

I can’t honestly remember a time when I felt truly relaxed.  There’ve been so many pressures – both external and self-inflicted – for so long, it now feels normal to operate in a state of near-constant, grinding frustration and angst.

Some of this – most of it, really – is with myself, for being an appalling underachiever; for persistently failing to tick off every goal on my highly-unrealistic To-Do List. The rest is with the world around and about me – for not cooperating; for daring to renege on its obligation to make my life easy.

Will asked, ‘Do you ever just sit, and close your eyes, and completely empty your mind of everything?’

Er…no?  Is that possible?  I can’t switch my brain off!  It’s one of the problems with being me; an inability to stop the thoughts going round and round.  It’s the reason my total sleep averages out at 3-4 hours a night.  There’s always something churning.

How do you stop that?  Switching it off, even occasionally, would be bliss.  Is it a skill only high-functioning, mentally-disciplined people possess, or can any loony learn it?

Annie Holder writes pacey thrillers, twist-filled crime novels, and unconventional romances – set all over the world.

You can find out more about her books at www.annieholder.com, and follow her on Instagram www.instagram.com/alhwriter/

Picture: Purple Buddha Project on Pinterest