Add Another Nought: a message for the Governor of the Bank of England. You're welcome, Britain.

I know life's tough at the moment. It feels as if everything is going wrong at once. I think I can fix it, though. I mean, this isn't for everyone, okay? Us Brits just need to keep our heads down and not gossip about it in front of anyone not in the gang, but why doesn't the BoE just add a zero to all our balances? It can be a one-off, Mr Bailey, but you've got the spreadsheet, so why not get the YTS kid to simply scroll down the column adding on an extra nought? He could do it today, right? We all agree to keep schtum.

Imagine the tax take for our crumbling public services! Where we had a measly 50 grand in our current account, now we've got 500! Well, that's made things look a whole heap better, hasn't it? No more just scraping by. You can finally start that business you've been daydreaming about for 15 years. You can get Auntie Muriel out of the council workhouse and ensconce her in a palatial annexe. You can eat better quality food that won't wreck the planet, torture animals, or make you obese and sick. You can pay for decent, timely medical treatment, or invest in a new skill or qualification. You can donate generously. You can save meaningfully. You can buy a house, or do up the one you've got to make it climate friendly, with heat pumps and triple glazing and insulation and grey water recycling and lo-flow taps - all the things we need and few can currently afford.

Yes, if Mr B does this then the billionaires will get the extra nought too, and some might say they have quite enough noughts already, but think about it this way. What do rich people like doing more than anything else? Showing off and spending money, and that means jobs! Someone's got to collect their kids from school or clean their house or glue on their Swarovski vajazzle or unblock fake tan and leached Botox from their swimming pool filter. It won't fix everything by a long shot, but it will just give us a little start, a bit of hope, like your Dad slipping you a ten pound note and saying, "Don't tell yer mother".

All it takes is one little digit. Go on, Andy, #addanothernought. That's the kind of quantitative easing we can all get behind.