MONDAY

Computer says no.

Tried the Goodreads ‘Notes & Highlights’ thing for Kindle books.  In order to do it, had to buy five of my OWN books on Kindle, just so I could annotate them for marketing purposes!  What a faff.  I’m not really even sure how I share this stuff once I’ve done it.  The explanations aren’t clear.  Whoever writes them assumes a level of understanding and competence I don’t possess.

Everything on Goodreads does seem to be a bit of a performance.  The functionality of the site is dreadful from this author’s point of view.  You have to root around in sub-menus of sub-menus to find the options you need.  I’m completely prepared to accept this could be because I’m a middle-aged techno-dullard rather than a bright young thing, but if Goodreads wants authors to utilise their services, surely making them simple to navigate without an NVQ in Programming would be a start?  I can’t provide my readers with the most engaging and immersive experience of my work if I don’t get how the stupid site works. 

Gave it up in the end because it was annoying me, and went out to run some errands instead.  Got back to find a Sparrowhawk eating another bird in the back garden.  I unwittingly startled it, and it flew off with the kill in its claws.  For the size of the hawk, his lunch looked large – possibly a collar dove or wood pigeon.  Certainly not something you see every day, even living in the country.

Read Annie Holder’s books on Kindle at: https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B0759DBK7T

TUESDAY

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?

Made an offer on a U S house.  Am waiting to hear back from the Realtor.  One place I was offered was absolutely amazing – way posher than I need, really – but I discounted it because it had no curtains on the downstairs windows.  This might seem a silly reason to reject a terrific house, but I’m not sure about the fashion for ‘naked’ windows.  Yes, it looks great in an interiors photoshoot, but doesn’t make for a cosy living experience, especially in the winter.  It creeps me out; a big, black square of night that you can’t cover up, and a queue of axe-murderers out there in the dark, peering in unobserved, and picking their moment to pounce.  I accept that a determined axe-murderer won’t be deterred by a little rectangle of fabric, but at least they can’t see in and pre-plan their axe-murdering strategy if you’ve got the curtains drawn.

WEDNESDAY

Progress, finally?

Still coughing.  Still full of snot.  It’s been around so long it’s beginning to feel less like a cold and more like my permanent state of being.  The weather remains unseasonably beautiful for an English September.  Walking the dog, we disturbed three young deer grazing in a clearing less than fifty yards in front of us.  I loved that they were utterly soundless as they fled into the dense woodland.  An example of graceful animals perfectly adapted to their environment.  The same can’t be said for humans.  We have to hack everything about to make it fit us, instead of improving our behaviour to gel with our world…and yet we think we’re so much better than all the other creatures.  I wonder…?

Did a load of boring housework and admin, then sat in the sun and had another go at the Miss Calculation plot outline.  I know I’ve said this before, but I truly believe I’ve GOT IT this time.  It answers all the hanging questions from the other two books, has a brisk plot that keeps moving with matching pace to the first two parts of the story…and, dare I hint at it, possibly even the sniff of a happy ending?  Maybe??  (Unless I change my mind before I get there…)

THURSDAY

Free therapy.

Another unseasonably beautiful day – 20-something ˚C.  Any other September, my shorts would already be packed away in the back of the wardrobe.  Not this year; my chubby little pins have had a proper airing in 2019.  Walking the dog in the woods as usual, daydreamed as I mooched along – the dog running ahead, sniffing, digging, returning, and running again – and felt at psychological peace for the first time in ages.  I do relish the pleasantly pedestrian rhythm of my life.  Makes me wonder how people cope when they can’t do this every day.  Nothing can intrude.  There’s no ‘phone signal, I can’t walk and type emails; in fact, there’s nothing to be done but wander, taking in the lovely, interesting world around me.  People with depression, and aggression; the bereaved, even the unnecessarily quarrelsome, should all be made to walk daily in peaceful countryside.  It puts everything in perspective.  I’d hate a life where I couldn’t choose when, where, and how I worked.  I’ve had a life like that; I detested it, and I’ll do everything in my power never to live that way again.

FRIDAY

I’m an addict, maaan…

Two awful nights of no sleep.  Awake from midnight to well past 4am – tossing, turning, fidgeting, and prowling the dark house – before eventually drifting off into a light and fitful doze.  It makes the days long, exhausting, and rather ‘spacey’. 

In contrast to the beautiful week, the weather turned wet, but still mild and warm for the time of year.  Too hot to wear a coat but too wet not to, I had to go out in my cagoule, tramping across the acres of strawberry-growing polytunnels pouring sweat like a 1980s boil-in-the-bag dinner.  Eventually decided it was more pleasant to walk in the refreshing rain than melt disgustingly inside my rain mac.  By the time I got home, I felt dreadful.  My neck was so stiff, I could hardly hold my bowling-ball of a head up.  Tried to get some work done, but developed such a banging headache I had to give in, shut the blinds, and get into bed for two hours; fully-clothed, and with the attentive dog on my pillow, curled around my head like some sort of novelty bonnet.  It hurt to keep my eyes open – the overcast day just too bright to look at.  I naturally blamed The World’s Longest Cold, but I’m not sure it’s entirely responsible.  I’ve certainly not been at my glowing physical best for the past month, but I don’t think it’s my germs on this occasion.  I’ve switched to decaff teabags over the last couple of days.  I easily drink ten cups of tea a day, if not more.  Someone suggested that a reduction in caffeine would help with my habitual insomnia.  Maybe cutting off my drug-of-choice completely was too extreme a step to take?  Perhaps I’m getting withdrawal symptoms?  It would certainly explain the restlessness, and the sharp agony of the uncharacteristic headache because I failed to start my day with the usual creosote-coloured, caffeine-filled double-cuppa.  Am I, like every long-term junkie trying to quit, simply ‘going cold turkey’?

Annie Holder writes pacey thrillers, twist-filled crime novels, and unconventional romances – set all over the world.

You can find out more about her books at www.annieholder.com, and follow her on Instagram www.instagram.com/alhwriter/